Saturday, 16 May 2009

The Difficult Second Relationship

I'm finding it hard to write about my second sexual relationship. The difficulty lies in trying to separate the sex we had from all the crap that went on between myself and Mr Silver. By that I mean it's easy to describe the sexual acts I performed (and enjoyed) when we were a couple, but there was also a shift in the relationship as time went on that eventually broke us apart and taints our time together.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and looking back I would have done things differently, but I was young, naive and horny. I didn't see things changing till they were too late. I took things at face value and believed everything he said.

But to say it was all his fault would also be naive. I changed too. It was a combination of growing up and events occurring in my life at the time. I was no longer a wide-eyed 23 year old, practically new to sex, ready to explore and experiment. Optimism had been replaced by something darker.

The relationship lasted for three years, but we didn't spend every day of those three years together. There were times when we spent months apart, breaking up then getting back together then breaking up again. I even fell head over heels in love with someone else during one of our break ups, but that new relationship never got off the ground.

An alcohol induced text message brought him back into my life, and I found myself back in the crap that caused our previous break ups. The relationship with Mr Silver ended soon after.

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